Pets don’t follow human rules, they create their own. Once you bring a pet into your home, you unknowingly agree to live with their rules. Whether you like it or not, these rules are firm, non-negotiable, and enforced daily.
Everything on the floor is mine
Whether this is dropped food, a sock, mail, or crumbs, all of these things are theirs. Once it hits the floor, it is automatically theirs. No ifs, ands, or buts; once something is down, it's claimed. Good luck getting it back, and hopefully it wasn’t one of your favorite things. Even if it was important to you five seconds ago, the floor transfer means ownership has officially changed.
Personal space is a shared concept
Your territory is their territory. If you sit, lie down, or even breathe, your pet will make contact. No matter your bed’s size, they’ll nestle close---usually as close as possible. They must constantly remind you they’re present, observing, and awaiting affection. Privacy is definitely not in the contract.
Selective hearing is encouraged
If you've noticed your pet only listens when you say their favorite words (treat, walk, outside, etc.) there’s no need to visit the vet. Their hearing is completely fine, you just aren’t saying the right words. Pets have incredibly strong selective hearing, and unless your sentence includes something exciting for them, it simply won’t register.
The best seat is the one you stand up from
The second you stand up, your pet will steal your seat. It doesn't matter the reason and it doesn't matter how long. Needed to use the bathroom, grab a snack, or answer the phone? Move your feet, lose your seat. That spot is now theirs, and reclaiming it will require negotiation or bribery. Or you'll just have to accept that it belongs to your fur-kid now.
Chaos is allowed, accountability is not
Chaos brings fun and a great life. Accountability is strictly off-limits. They're not responsible for knocking things over when they have zoomies, barking at your delivery driver, or causing a disruption. They're simply making life more exciting, and accountability would ruin the vibe. In their world, fun and responsibility never mix.
When you become a pet parent, it's important to be made aware of these rules. Otherwise, your pet will not approve. And once they disapprove, your days will be filled with judgmental stares, dramatic sighs, and constant reminders that you are, in fact, living in their house. What are some rules your pet has for you?
